Friday, June 12, 2015
What do I Need?
Perhaps it seems strange that someone who lives in a 488 square foot home feels she has too much. But I do. I find that WeeHavyn, once a shelter from the world, has become a burden. She keeps me in one place, I worry about her when I leave. The lawn needs mowed, the flower beds watered, the kiwi vines pruned. I often go to St. Louis with my boyfriend, Tony, and I find I am pulled in two directions while I am there. While I love the rampant green and stately oaks of Missouri, I do miss my family in Wyoming. But I am tied here and a month's visit is not feasible. Yet a week there just isn't long enough.
So what do I really need to be content? What do I miss when I leave home? After thinking long and hard and probing my feelings, I find that I want my own comfortable bed, a familiar kitchen with all my favorite spices and utensils, and the privacy of my own bathroom. That's it. The lawn, the stuff, the home maintenance is something I simply do because I have to.
Leaving WeeHavyn is a big step and I don't want to take it lightly. Yet I cannot be afraid. I cannot ignore what I actually what for what others tell me I should. I will not pour my precious life into something that isn't really important to me. My life has been changed from the outside by brute force many times and I've always been thankful afterward.
Might I not be as thankful for a change I have chosen?